MystiQal QueEn

Daddy's Rules for Dating His Little Girl

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My parents have yet to return from London, i m guessing there is alot of work there.
Anyway, My dad called me from london jus now, when i was out, n he was like, all so
daddy-ish n all!!

Dad: So honey, is our home still in one piece?
Me: Yes yes, Dun worry... if i m still alive n breathing, the house is safe too!!
Dad: Thank god, anyway i jus spoke to ur brother, He said u have been missing over the weekend!
Who's that guy huh?
Me: GUy??? Wat guy?? No lah.. jus partying la..
Dad: Ya watever, i know u well enuf. Hope u have chosen a bf k!! n intro him to me atleast when we come back....
Me: OKay... are u like gonna hang up cos overseas phone calls expensive u noe!!

Hahaha... Welll.... here are some of Rina's Daddy's rules!!

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk

you'd better be delivering a package,

because you're sure not picking

anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch

my daughter in front of me.

You may glance at her,

so long as you do not peer

at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands

off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable

for boys of your age to wear their trousers

so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

Please don't take this as an insult,

but you & all of your friends are complete idiots.

Still, I want to be fair & open minded about this issue,

so I propose this compromise:

You may come to the door

with your underwear showing & your pants

ten sizes too big, & I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not,

in fact come off during the course

of your date with my daughter,

I will take my electric nail gun

and fasten your trousers securely in

place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world,

sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you.

Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex,

I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other,

we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

Please do not do this.

The only information I require from you

is an indication of when you expect

to have my daughter safely back at my house,

and the only word I need from you

on this subject is: "early."

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow,

with many opportunities to date other girls.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl,

you will continue to date no one but her

until she is finished with you.

If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway,

waiting for my daughter to appear,

and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

My daughter is putting on her makeup,

a process than can take longer than painting

the Mona Lisa.

Instead of just standing there,

why don't you do something useful,

like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate

for a date with my daughter:

Places where there are beds, sofas,

or anything softer than a wooden stool.

Places where there is darkness.

Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

Places where the ambient temperature

is warm enough to induce my daughter

to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts,

or anything other than overalls, a sweater,

and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat.

Movies with a strong romantic

or sexual theme are to be avoided;

movies which features chain saws are okay. HaHa

Basketball games are okay.

Old folks homes are better. LoL-ness

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me.

I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged,

dimwitted has-been.

But on issues relating to my daughter,

I am the all-knowing, merciless god

of your universe.

If I ask you where you are going and with whom,

you have one chance to tell me the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

It takes very little for me to mistake

the sound of your car in the driveway

for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.

When my Agent Orange starts acting up,

the voices in my head frequently tell me

to clean the guns as I wait for you to

bring my daughter home.

As soon as you pull into the driveway

you should exit the car with both hands

in plain sight.

Speak the perimeter password,

announce in a clear voice that you have

brought my daughter home safely and early,

then return to your car - there is no need

for you to come inside.

The camouflaged face at the window

is mine.

Got it!!

LOLS..... This not only happens in Western countries.. it happens here in Singapore too!! Oh yeah it does!! Well then ADIOS

bid goodbye and fly away... 7:58 AM

: About the Girl :

My name is Ryeana Jayaprakash but i am also known as Rina Jaya.
I am a fun person to be wth always one to think of others before putting myself first! A great friend all would love to have but dont get on my bad books! Nah.. you wun like it!
I am a preschool teacher and absolutely loving my job!
Add me on msn if you wish to know me more, at shreena_jaya@hotmail.com,
if not msn, email me at shreena_jaya@yahoo.com.

Love to Chill out wif my F.R.I.E.N.D.S * Loves ChocA & ice CREAM* Loves Music * Loves Dancing*Loves ma enemies * Joker* Bubbly * Notti all the time* Crazy * Alluring * Angelic * Appealing * Beauteous * Graceful * Ideal * Lovely...awww...* Magnificent * Marvelous * Nice* Stunning * Sublime * Superb * Symmetrical * Stunning * Charming...wheeeee.. * Cute =p * Dazzling * Enticing * Exquisite * Fair * Fascinating * Refined * Resplendent * Splendid * Tantalizing * Teaser* Wonderful * Funky * straight forward

Thats about me...wanna know me more drop me an email.
Thank you for viewing my profile. Take care and have a lovely day/night!

Cheerios,
Sharniya a.k.a Rina